She spent most of the night up and down with Finn because he’s really unwell. I took Knox and stayed with him in the other room because he always gets upset when Finny’s like that. It was one of them really fucked up nights. She would have been exhausted.
We both had work this morning so I went in at 5am to make sure she was feeling okay and to get her up. I was taking the boys for the morning and they were going to spend the day with Nanna.
Finn was curled up in her arm fast asleep. He was breathing heavily in such a deep sleep, clearly exhausted. She was already awake as I came in and just whispered;
“you go hun, I can’t leave him I’ll stay home”.
She has basically no carers leave left at work. That’s what happens when you’re a mum. You kinda just have to weigh up the financial viability of whether to take care of your sick children or not. The world doesn’t cater for it. But it’s still not even a decision.
I offer to do the same, but it’s not the same. Whenever they’re sick she says “they just want their mum”. I think she needs that time with them as much as they need it with her. She needs to feel like she’s comforting them. That’s what mums do for their babies. That’s just instinct.
So the next time you’re going to sling shit at a mother and judge her for returning to work; keep the guilt trip to yourself. Ask her what her leave balance is. Ask her if her relationship with her employer is different now. Ask her if she’s really excelling like she was before.
Chances are she’s probably not. She’s just doing whatever she needs to do to get by. She may have gone back to work… but she certainly hasn’t stopped being a mum.
Proud of you babe x
Fuck the mum guilt!!!