For as long as I’ve been having babies, there has been this 12 week rule. You hide your pregnancy away, being cautious that your growing tummy, tell-tale nausea and your refusal of alcohol doesn’t give you away.

We shouldn’t tell anyone that we are growing a little life “in case something happens”⁣.

But if something tragic should happen? Then you will find yourselves alone, mourning the loss of your beautiful baby without your tribe.

We followed the rules. We waited until the all trusted 12 week nuchal scan to be told he was perfectly healthy with an extremely low risk for genetic diseases.

We announced to our world at the ‘correct time’ and had it come crashing down a mere 8 weeks later with the news that he was, in fact, suffering with a genetic disease and had severe related issues with his organs. There is no “safe” time in pregnancy, as we found out.⁣

The next time we fell pregnant, we didn’t wait to tell those who we needed support from. Because when we also lost that pregnancy in the early days, our people were ready to support us.

So tell your tribe about your pregnancy when you feel ready, not when you hit a magical number on your pregnancy app.

Tell the people who, if the worst should happen, at any gestation, will scoop you up in love and get you through the other side.

Because those people will be crucial to your healing.

Sarah Kearns 12 Week Rule Pregnancy and Infant Loss DaDMum Blog Sarah Kearns 12 Week Rule Pregnancy and Infant Loss DaDMum Blog