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After Buddy died we returned to our tiny apartment by the beach, just the two of us.
The next morning the beach was littered with pregnant bellies, mums pushing prams and dads with kids on their shoulders... it felt bitterly unfair. The sun shone and the birds sang.
How could they just go on? Didn’t they know what had been lost? Why me? Why us? I followed the rules, I tried so hard.
And we realised - why not us? We aren’t any different from those people. We had to keep chasing rainbows.
A baby born after a loss is called a rainbow baby. I have three boys in my arms after losing more souls than just Buddy. I have more than I could ever have dreamed of, and I can feel him close to us.
This photo means so much to me. I feel like we have found peace, right back where we started.
I’m often asked how to support parents going through a loss. Say their babies name. You aren’t reminding them of their loss, they didn’t forget. You are reminding them that their baby mattered to more than just them, that their baby left a mark on the world outside of their home, that’s a precious gift. Drop off food, name a star for baby, organise Heartfelt Photographers to attend (even if the parents say they don’t want to keep the photos, ask them if they would take some. The photographer will pop them away in case they do- we changed our mind within a day), hand/foot castings or fingerprint jewellery (the businesses can go to the hospital/ funeral home), and seek help/ resources from Bears of Hope.